Abrasion: Stimulating the surface of the body with abrasive materials, for example, rough silk, chamois leather, fine sandpaper, brushes, wire wool. An often overlooked but surprisingly effective set of techniques, especially on a blindfolded sub.
Adult Babies: Grown-ups who wish to be treated as babies. This can include the wearing of diapers and rubber pants, bottle feeding and changing.
Animal Training:
Fantasy play in which one partner is an animal trainer and the other is the animal. Ponyplay and dogplay are the two most popular forms this takes. Fantasies including obedience training, exercise training, paper-training (in dogplay), harnessing and riding (in ponyplay), and so on.
Ball Gag: Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is ammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too.
BDSM: Bondage Domination Sado Masochism, Term for activities of BDSM: Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon conscent is in a position of Power/Domination the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a scene) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship).
Body Bag: A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification games.
Body service: when a submissive takes care of all the dominant's bodily needs, acting as a trained servant in bathing, shaving, hair-styling, manicures, pedicures, and other hygiene and grooming rituals. Body worship: oral service (including licking, sucking and kissing) by a submissive to the dominant Implies no taboos or inhibitions about oral contact with any and all body parts
Bondage: A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically helpless
Breath Control: a form of edgeplay in which the top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe, either by constricting the neck or by blocking the mouth or nose. It's important to point out that this is done for extremely tiny intervals, and seldom to the point of unconsciousness
Bullwhip: A long, heavy leather whip
Cane: Usually a 15-45 inch long stick used for spanking techniques
CBT: Cock and Ball Torture - Intense stimulation of the male sex by bondage, needles or clamps
Clamps: Toy used in S&M play. kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast or lips of the cunt
Collar: Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs or Owned to a Dominant).
Contract: A written agreement about the rights and duties of the D/s partners. Those contracts do not have any meaning in terms of law, but they are often used to define the relationship.
Crop: Riding Crop used for spanking techniques
Discipline: Codeword for spanking, whipping etc
Dom, Domme: A Dominant Male or female person - the person in charge/control (also referred to as a Top)
Dungeon: any space set aside for SM activity, public or private, and furnished with some SM equipment. Not all dungeons have large-scale equipment--home dungeons, because of space limitations, may have only small toys.
Edgeplay: These are particularly dangerous that are looked upon with some trepidation - Often techniques which include bloodsports and asphyxia
Electroplay/Electrotorture: Using electrical devices for stimulation.
Endorphin: Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he r she is in "subspace".
Fisting: Penetration of the vagina or anus using the fist/hand
Flogger: A multi strap/string whip, straps/strings are usually up to 20 inch long and made of leather or rubber
Foot-play: Erotic interactions with feet and all forms of foot fetishism
Foot worship: Also called "foot service." Oral service (licking, kissing, sucking) to bare feet
Forced Feminization: this is when a Dominatrix (or sometimes a Male Dominant) "forces" a submissive man into feminine clothes.
French Maid: Fantasy role-play in which the submissive (male or female) is dressed in a "french maid's uniform" and serves food, drinks, and so on. The uniform usually comprises a very short, one piece dress, often made of fetish material; a frilled petticoat; a frilly apron; stockings and high-heels; and other frou-frou (such as a lacy headpiece, lace wrist-cuffs, and white gloves).
Golden Shower: A humiliation technique where the Dominant urinates on the submissive. Also The Marking of a slave.
Head-play: Also known as "mind-play, mind games, head games, head trips, and mind-fucking." This means any kind of manipulation by the top which heightens anticipation and fear in an emotionally masochistic bottom and thus intensifies the bottom's erotic response. This includes everything from "verbal abuse" to complex scenarios that confuse or surprise the bottom into deeper "sub-space." A "mind-fuck" (deliberately misleading a partner into believing something horrible is about to happen).
Lifestyle: when used with "the," it usually refers to "the leather lifestyle," meaning people who embrace all aspects of leather culture in their dress, their sexual politics, their social commitments, their traditions, and their sex lives. "Being in the lifestyle" is not the same as "being a lifestyler," because someone "in the lifestyle" or "in the life" could be single or otherwise uninvolved in a full-time SM relationship.
Lifestylers: people who assume their dominant, submissive, top or bottom roles as a way of life. Lifestyle relationships are role-based, but not role-play. Many lifestylers are not "in the lifestyle" in that they do not participate in the organized SM Scene, but instead conduct their SM relationships in privacy at home.
Limits: The basic set of physical or other limits that the bottom sets during negotiation. For example, if a bottom does not like anything more painful than eotic spanking, she may set a pain "limit" that rules out whippings and other intense stimuli. (See chapter on submissives.) Dominants too have limits on how far they wish to go with a submissive.
Hard Limits: The maximum edge of someone's negotiated limit. In some cases, a hard limit is a personal choice; in others, it is a necessity to safeguard the submissive's health. For example, if the submissive is allergic to latex, any latex product is a "hard limit."
*Pushing Limits: By consent, submissives agree to let the Dominant push him or her to a limit and slightly beyond. Most commonly this occurs when the submissive believes his limits stem from an irrational fear that he hopes the Dominant will help him to overcome.
*Respecting Limits: A fundamental ethic among kinky people is to treat limits as a sacred trust, and never to violate the submissive's trust by non-consensually exceeding their limits.
*Stretching Limits: Many submissives want to see progress in their submission and hope to be able to engage in increasingly more intense sex. When Dominants consensually "stretch" limits, they guide submissives gradually to be able to reach their goal by pushing their limits. A Dominant's limits usually stretch over time too, usually as the Dominant gains increasingly self-confidence, experience, and skill with equipment
Masochism: The ability to derive pleasure from pain
Master, Mistress: see Dom, Domme - mostly used in terms of Ownership
Mind-games: See "Headplay."
Mummification: A form of bondage where the passive part is wrapped up more or less completely
Negotiation: The art and science of reaching a clear, consensual agreement with your adult partner about the type of relationship you will have and the kinds of kinky things you will do together. The negotiation process lasts as long as the couple needs to hammer these things out--it could be days, weeks, months or even years. Couples also may re-negotiate terms periodically as their relationship evolves and their needs change. "Negotiating a scene" involves a much narrower type of dialogue, in which partners only decide on what they will do during a scene.
Paddle: A flat instrument used for spanking purposes - mostly made of leather or wood - sometimes with airholes for a better effect.
Pain Slut: a heavy masochist (male or female)
Pain Threshold: The limit at which pain ceases to be pleasure and becomes undesirable for the submissive or bottom.
Panty training: This is when a Dominant "forces" a male submissive to wear panties and other embarrassing bits of feminine ligerie, both to cross-dress and humiliate him.
Percussion play: An umbrella term used to describe all forms of striking. Spanking, paddling, slapping, whipping, flogging and caning are all types of percussion play.
Permanent v. play piercing: A permanent piercing refers to the implantation of body jewelry (such as nipple rings). A play piercing is a form of radical SM play in which needles or other piercing implements are temporarily inserted in flesh, either as part of a ritual (sometimes spiritual) or for the erotic pleasure of the pain it brings.
Ponygirl: A submissive trained to act like a pony
Power exchange: The consensual transfer of power by the submissive to the Dominant. The exchange takes place when the returned energy from the Dominant empowers the submissive
Protector: A protector is one who is entrusted with the care of another's sub/slave - A protector is also one who will take the place of the Master/Mistress at any function the Master cannot attend.
Puppy: The submissive or bottom in an animal play relationship.
Pushy (or Greedy) Sub: Usually used playfully in reference to a submissive who likes a lot of play, and will act naughty to get the Dominant to take action. It can also be used to refer to submissives who push so hard that they turn dominants off.
Safe, Sane and Consensual (or Safe, Sane, and Mutually Consensual: the fundamental ethical standard of kinky sex. It means that all activity between adults should be "safe" (no form of pain or stimulation that causes harm), "sane" (with respect for both body and mind), and consensual (all partners involved are adults who are able to give informed consent). First formulated by David Stein, for GMSMA
Safeword: A word, phrase or sign the participants agree on which has the meaning of a stopsign - all play has to stop immediately when this sign is given.
Scat: Also known as scat-play, refers to excrement. Poop, to put it more plainly. This may include enemas, brown showers, watching or being watched while expelling, being ordered to soil one's pants (or ordering someone), and to eat feces. You can't eat poop without putting yourself at risk of disease. Human feces, is infested with bacteria. Bacteria is what breaks food down and turns it into waste in our alimentary canals. Those bacteria remain alive in our waste after our bodies eliminate it. A bacterial infection transmitted by ingesting feces can be fatal There is no absolute way to protect yourself against getting one.
Slave: A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top) Sometimes used the same way as the term sub, some ppl distinguish a sub from a slave by pointing out that a slave doesn't have the possibility to chose her/his destiny.
Slave contract: A document written cooperatively by the Dominant and the submissive in which the negotiated terms of their relationship are set out in clear language. Contracts are usually term-limited: 3 months, 6 months, a year. Some couples sign permanent contracts, vowing a lifetime commitment.
Spanking: The application of stimuli with canes, whips, paddles, crops or even the bare hand which, outside of a scene, would be considered painful.
Spreader Bar: A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used in bondage play.
Submissive (sub): A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top)
Top: A Dominant Male or female person - the person in charge/control (also Dom, Domme)
TPE: Total Power Exchange Term for an extreme form of a 24/7 D/s relationship.
TT (Tit Toture): Intense breast stimulation (for example with needles, clamps, tight bondage etc.)
Toilet slave: Someone who has a fetish for serving the Dominant's toilet habits or who has a fetish for being ordered to clean or worship toilets. May also refer to someone who wishes to roleplay as a toilet.
Trainer: A trainer is one who teaches the sub/slave new tricks - don't mix this up with the term Master/Mistress
Transvestite: also known as TV or cross-dresser, and sometimes abbreviated to "X-dresser" in writing. Someone (usually male), who finds emotional and/or erotic gratification wearing opposite- sex clothing. Many, but not all, transvestites are aroused by the clothes and shoes themselves. It is estimated that roughly 2-3% of all men cross-dress. The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual males. "Drag queens" are gay men who cross- dress to seduce other men and "female impersonators" are cabaret performers. With rare exceptions, neither drag queens nor female impersonators are aroused by the clothes themselves.
Transsexual: Also known as TS. Someone who believes s/he was born in the wrong-sex body, and often seeks to make physical changes . It is estimated the one out of every 30,000 men and one out of every 100,000 women are transsexual. A "pre-op transsexual" is someone who has taken some steps towards change--hormone therapy, breast implants (for male-to-female) or removal (for female-to-male).
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